I had a profound realisation yesterday.
I think I was telling you about exchanging gratitude emails with my soulfriend in Australia on a regular basis. As a matter of fact, I have been writing thank you lists in some form or another since my late teens, the story about my first feeble 🙂 attempts are told elsewhere on the blog: https://flammetjie.wordpress.com/2013/12/01/the-alchemy-of-gratitude/
I saw that I have never ever in all these years of doing this practice, said thank you for my Heart.
When I was growing up, my mother used to tease me, “Stefs, your heart is like a motel, you always seem to be able to make space for one more soul”.
Last night I sat and looked back on my life. I shed many tears, looking at exactly just how much I have expected my heart to endure, and I wrote a little Ode, a kind of pledge.
” Today I acknowledge you, my sweet heart ,
I pledge allegiance to you, I promise to take care of your best interests.
You never close the door, you always invite the lost souls in,
You never stop loving.
I allow all the users, the hard ones, the homeless, to move into you,
to wreck your rooms, to walk all over you, treat you without respect
yet you just keep on loving, keep on giving, keep on smiling
keep seeing the perfection in every soul’s potential.
You wake every morning and open like a flower,
no matter how badly I allowed you to be treated before.
Your love for me is unconditional.
Today is the day I promise to love you back,
I promise to guard you , to protect you, fierce like a lion,
to hold you, to heal you, to nurse you back to health, to take care of you.
No more battering, no more bruising,
no more leaving you out in the cold, expecting you to just keep on giving.
From now on we go as a united force.
We stand up. We say no. We rest. We fight for what’s right.
We work for what’s good in the world, but not at our own expense.
Today we cry and weep, we expel all the pain, we clean out the rooms, we suture the wounds,
No more giving you away to any old passer-by, no more will undeserving ones carry your bounty away.
You are the space where angels come to rest.
Forgive me, dear sweet heart, for all the pain, the disappointment, the sorrow this life has brought you
And me never giving you time, not heading your voice,
but just expecting you to go on.
You never rebel, you never shut down,
You just keep on loving.
Today, my heart, break, break as deeply as you need to break
Bleed as much as you need to bleed,
but know, that from this day on, you will never be alone.
I feel you in my breast, I accept you sacred gift,
the driving force of my blood, you never let me down, you never shy away, always find more to give,
never shirk from you job of loving, shining through it all.
You silently hold the grief and hurt, and keep on loving me, bearing me flowers
You are my greatest gift of all, your softness, your resilience, my precious blessing
I listen now, my life giving force,
I see your radiant beauty,
I appreciate you, I hold you, I praise you as others have praised you,
my loving and lovable heart.”
Dear loved ones, give your heart a little tender loving gratitude today. I am sure she deserves it.